07 March 2011

Day Twenty-Seven: The Hard Stuff

Today I have spent a lot of time thinking about my daddy and about my granny. My granny, daddy’s mama, died last March 25. That anniversary looms large in the near distance. I miss her so much.

I have been having a sad feeling lately, feeling like my daddy’s time isn’t long, so when the phone lit up a call from my sister this morning, my thoughts immediately went to “this is it; he’s gone,” and braced myself for what my sister would be telling me, that I didn’t want to hear. She didn’t tell me what I was expecting and I was very thankful for that.

He is in ICU/CCU with pneumonia. My daddy is a 69 year old man with COPD. Before he got pneumonia, he only had 18% lung function. I can do the math. The possibility that this brings is yelling so loudly at me that my heart isn’t hearing much else.

I want to be thankful in all things, even the bad things. But, no, I am not ready for the hard Eucharisteo.

27. I am thankful for a daddy that provided for the needs of our family. He wasn’t perfect; no one is. I may not have always been happy about what I was provided with, but I was always provided for. I know that he loves me.

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

No comments:

Post a Comment